Apple lungs

the feeling everytime is the same

The feeling I get everytime when I come back from San Francisco is the same. It’s a strange sort of loneliness, because all you can think about is how good life was there. Eventually, you forget about it though, because that’s just how it is.

I know most people don’t blog on tumblr. (i still really don’t understand tumblr) but I had to because no one looks at my blogspot anyway and i just need to feel like i’m talking to someone. anyone.

my roommate is undoubtedly sleeping at home and I am alone in my studio apartment that overlooks union square.

I am pretty much doing nothing, since she told me she cleaned my drawers out already and all my stuff is in storage. All I have to do is wait for the storage keys.

I would call my mom, except i already did and I don’t feel like waking her up again.

I actually really want to talk to my mom, to anyone.

I think it’s just tough right now. Because after 4 months in San Francisco, you forget what New York is like. It’s not some sort of amusement park, and people don’t know what it’s like until you spend months here. New York is a reminder of all the things you could have been, or could be.

Thank goodness for Union Square park wifi. At least now I feel like I’m communicating with someone.

I think I always find some reason to feel bitter about my friendships in San Francisco because it just makes the parting easier when I don’t feel like I love you as much.

But I really do, I really really do even if I do get irritated about the things that have changed.

I hate this feeling of emptiness. I should probably stop tearing because I feel like random people might walk into my room or something.

I hate moving in alone. I hate hate hate it. I hate the silence.

wow. he's just tooo sexy!

im using this to blog like its an lj or whatever. but anyway, wow he’s so sexy I WANT TO DATE YOU!!! HELLLO???????

thanks. just had to get that oouuuuut of my system.